


Confess All The Feelings That I've Been Concealing For Years

by orphan_account



Category: Smosh
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, M/M, Pining, try not to laugh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:02:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24129391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Damien finally turned and smiled back, but there was something sad in his eyes that Shayne couldn't pinpoint. "I think you're one of the things I'll miss most about LA."The world stopped turning as the words left Damien's lips. Shayne could barely comprehend them."Miss? I...what do you mean?"Damien sucked on his teeth and shrugged. The action looked stiff and unnatural."I'm moving to Chicago."What if after 'So Random' ended, Damien had moved away instead of living with Shayne? And what if 8 years later, Damien came back to LA, asking Shayne to meet up?Title from Chicago by The Icarus Account
Relationships: Damien Haas/Shayne Topp
Comments: 3
Kudos: 84





	Confess All The Feelings That I've Been Concealing For Years

The text was the last thing Shayne had been expecting after what might've been the worst day of his life.

Somehow, he had managed to wake up 30 minutes late, meaning he didn't have time to make it to the gym before work. Then, he'd spilled his much-needed coffee all over his jeans once he'd finally arrived at the office. Thankfully, Sarah had found a spare pair of pants in the costumes closet he could wear but they were _way_ too tight, making him very, _very_ conscious of his own crotch.

But what had really gotten him was the fact that the sketch idea that he'd spent the entire weekend working on had been shut down. 

Shayne arrived home that day, ready to crawl into bed and never come out when his phone dinged. He sighed heavily as he dropped onto his couch and checked the message, frowning when he saw a message from an unfamiliar number. Strange.

 _**From +1 (312) 404-5566, 5:40pm:  
** _ _Hey, Shayne! It's Damien Haas, remember from the So Random days?_

 **_From +1 (312) 404-5566, 5:40pm:  
_ ** _I'm gonna be in LA for a little while this weekend and I'd love to catch up! :)_

Shayne raised his eyebrows, a soft surprised laugh escaping his lips as he read the messages over and over.

 _**From +1 (313) 404-5566, 5:42pm:  
** _ _If I got the wrong number, then just totally ignore this message. Sorry!_

Oh. He should probably reply now. 

_**From Shayne Topp, 4:43pm:  
** _ _Hey man, it's good to hear from you! Its been a while. When are you gonna be in town?_

As Shayne saved Damien's number into his phone, he thought about the last time they'd seen each other. It must've been the party that Matthew Scott had thrown to 'celebrate' _So Random_ getting cancelled. That party had been eight years ago, now.

Shayne thought about that party fondly. He remembered drinking way too much cheap bear and drunkenly reminiscing with his co-stars about the absurd things Disney had made them do. 

Shayne flushed as he _also_ thought about how he'd spent most of the night trying and failing to ask Damien out on an actual date. 

* * *

_eight years ago_

"Judging by the fact that you're over here on your own and not furiously making out with Damien, I'm gonna take a wild guess and say...you haven't asked him yet?"

Shayne grimaced as he took a long sip of his beer, moving over to make room for Matthew Scott on the couch. 

"I'm...I'm waiting for the right time," Shayne mumbled, looking into the neck of his bottle.

Matthew Scott hummed. "Okay, well, you've been here for like two hours. You're telling me that the 'right time' hasn't happened yet?" he asked, looking over at where Damien was talking to Allisyn and Sterling. "He's not gonna say 'yes' if you never ask."

Shayne bit his lower lip lightly. "How do you even know he'll say yes? He could find me totally repulsive."

"Shayne, he spends almost all of his time with you, calls and texts you constantly, _and_ puts up with the way you laugh at your own jokes? He must haaaate you." When he looked back over at Shayne, Matthew Scott could practically see his fear growing. "Shayne, it'll be okay. Damien's your best friend. Just be honest."

Suddenly, Shayne found himself alone again, nursing his beer and trying not to think of every worst case scenario that could happen. He looked up when he saw a familiar pair of shoes enter his line of vision, smiling weakly at Damien who was standing right in front of him.

"Hey," Damien said, and Shayne decided he never wanted to listen to anything that wasn't Damien's voice ever again. "Can we talk?"

Shayne's heart dove to the floor. "Did...did Matthew Scott talk to you?"

Damien furrowed his eyebrows (cutely, Shayne noted). "No? Why?"

"Nothing, it's...it's not important." Shayne patted the space on the couch next to him. "What's up?"

"Um..." Damien looked around the crowded living room and laughed, though it sounded tight. Forced. "Could we talk in private maybe?"

Shayne hated the surge of hope that fluttered through his chest. "Oh! Yeah, of course." 

They walked out to the fire escape together and leaned up against the railing, the sounds of the party inside muffling in the background. Shayne briefly wondered if his heartbeat could be heard out in San Francisco. 

"So, uh..." Shayne started, glancing at Damien who was looking out at the view from the fire escape. "Everything okay?"

Damien sighed but didn't turn to face Shayne. "I was just...thinking. I'm really grateful that..." Damien paused, "...that I got to meet you."

Shayne raised his eyebrows, a surprised smile growing on his face. "Oh. I...thanks, man. I mean, I'm really grateful I met you, too." 

Damien finally turned and smiled back, but there was something sad in his eyes that Shayne couldn't pinpoint. "I think you're one of the things I'll miss most about LA." 

The world stopped turning as the words left Damien's lips. Shayne could barely comprehend them.

"Miss? I...what do you mean?"

Damien sucked on his teeth and shrugged. The action looked stiff and unnatural.

"I'm moving to Chicago." 

Shayne threw up.

* * *

_present day_

The memory came rushing back like bile, creeping up in the back of Shayne's throat. He'd blamed the mishap on the cheap beer mixed with the meagre lunch he'd eaten that day, but deep down Shayne wondered if Damien had seen through his excuse.

 _**From Damien Haas, 5:50pm:  
** _ _I'll be coming in on Friday morning. Would you be able to meet for lunch?_

 **_From Shayne Topp, 5:50pm:  
_ ** _Yeah I would_

Shayne paused, his fingers moving on their own accord as he typed out a new message.

 _**From Shayne Topp, 5:51pm:  
** _ _Would you be interested in possibly coming to work with me?_

The reply was near instantaneous. 

_**From Damien Haas, 5:51pm:  
** _ _Oh man, that sounds awesome! I'd love to :) if it's not an imposition of course_

 _**From Shayne Topp, 5:51pm:  
** _ _Sick. I'll text you the details later_

 _**From Damien Haas, 5:51pm:  
** _ _It's a date_

 **_From Damien Haas, 5:51pm  
_ ** _I'm super excited to see you, man._

Shayne didn't even try to conceal his grin.

 _**From Shayne Topp, 5:52pm:** _ **  
** _Me too :)_

As the conversation came to its natural end, Shayne couldn't help but let his mind wander. How much could've changed in eight years? Maybe Damien was totally different now. Would Shayne even recognise him?

He opened Instagram and hesitated before clicking the search bar and typing in Damien's name. It came up immediately. Shayne smiled when he saw Damien's most recent photo. It was a picture of him holding up a grey cat, the slightest of smiles on his face. 

[ **@damienhaas** _My other cat took this._ ](https://www.instagram.com/p/BoLIKitl1_g/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet)

So, he apparently had cats. Shayne's eyes drifted from the grey cat in his arms to Damien's face. His hair was longer and Shayne could definitely see the ways the yeaars had sculpted his face. He was still as handsome as ever...recognisable enough to make old feelings bubble uncomfortably to the surface. But just different enough to make Shayne wonder what he'd missed over the years.

Girlfriends? ...Boyfriends? Jobs?

Shayne flung his phone beside him with a groan, rubbing his face with both hands and leaning back into his couch cushions. 

Friday felt like it was speeding toward him...and yet it still felt like it couldn't get here soon enough.

* * *

They'd agreed to meet at a coffee shop at 9am. When Friday eventually arrived, Shayne found himself paying the slightest bit more attention to little things he normally never would have noticed.

...Like the way his hair just _wouldn't. Lie. Flat._

After ten minutes of trying (and failing) to fix his hair, he gave up and left the house, grabbing his bag and briskly walking to his car. If he was late to meet Damien, it wouldn't matter what his hair looked like. 

He arrived a few minutes early. As Shayne got out of his car and reached for his phone, he heard an all too familiar voice calling out to him.

"Shayne!"

Shayne whipped around and grinned. Even after eight years, the sight of Damien's smile was the most familiar thing in the world. 

As he walked over, Shayne wondered why he'd been worried in the first place. Damien opened his arms for a hug and Shayne eagerly accepted, wrapping his arms around his friend back.

If Shayne hugged Damien a little too tightly, Damien thankfully didn't say anything.

"It's good to see you, man," Shayne said as they pulled away from one another. He could feel his cheeks growing slightly warm as he looked at Damien up close. "How long has it been?"

"Wow...like eight years?" Damien said, smiling softly. "You look great!"

Shayne rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. "So do you." _You look just as good as I remember._

Damien paused, biting his lip before letting out a breath. "I really missed you, man." Damien's voice was quiet as he said it. The admission felt much too private for the middle of a coffee shop parking lot on a Friday morning.

Shayne's heart did a flip in his chest, which he staunchly elected to ignore.

"I uh...I missed you, too." Shayne hoped he sounded as sincere as the words felt. By the blinding smile Damien gave him in return, he assumed he'd succeeded. "So...coffee?"

"Lead the way, kind sir."

* * *

It was scary how quickly Damien managed to fit himself so perfectly into his friend group. 

Shayne watched quietly from the sidelines as Damien talked with Keith and Courtney, that trademark grin lighting up his features. 

But that wasn't the scary part. The scary part was how terrifyingly _normal_ this entire thing felt. Even after eight years, Damien still managed to fit into his life just right, like he'd never left. Shayne didn't dare let himself picture this being their day-to-day. Waking up together, getting coffee, coming to work...and all the things in between.

"So, your friend Damien."

Shayne jumped when he heard someone talking to him. He turned to face Ian who'd somehow managed to walk up behind him without Shayne even noticing.

"Uh...what about him?" Shayne asked, "is he...I thought we were allowed to bring guests to set? I cleared it with you and Matt two days--"

"--Shayne, that's not...he's fine, that's not what I wanted to talk about," Ian said quickly, "I just wanted to ask what your guys' deal was."

Shayne blushed. "Deal?"

"Yeah. Like, how'd you guys meet?"

"Oh! Oh. Um...we were on _So Random_ together. We were really good friends until he moved to Chicago." Shayne gnawed on his lip. "He messaged me the other night saying he was in town for the weekend and wanted to catch up."

"Hm." Ian scratched his beard as he thought, watching Damien inquisitively. "I was just thinking, you know...he'd be a pretty good fit here, don't you think?"

_Yes._

"I...hadn't really thought about that," Shayne said, the warm feeling in his chest growing steadily. "You really think so?"

Ian nodded. "If he were to come back down here more often, we could get you guys in some videos together. You two have great chemistry."

Before Shayne could respond, Ian walked away, leaving him alone to process his words.

Damien walked over to Shayne and smiled, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Your coworkers are all super nice. They're just like they are in your videos."

Shayne furrowed his eyebrows, a smug smile playing at the corners of his lips. "You didn't tell me you watched _Smosh_."

Damien flushed. "I don't really...when I heard you'd gotten this job, I decided to check out a couple of videos. It kind of reminded me of the Disney days."

Shayne grinned. "Wow, I can't believe you're a fan. I might have to watch out before you go all Kathy Bates from _Misery_ on me."

Damien laughed, loud and exaggerated. "Oh, you mean like when she ties him to the bed and breaks his ankles?" Damien grinned, "I mean...I don't know what scene you're talking about."

Shayne giggled, covering his mouth with his hand as Damien began laughing as well. For a second it felt like they were back eight years younger, hanging out in Shayne's dressing room between scenes, trying to make each other laugh with stupid inside jokes. 

"So," Shayne said as their giggles died down, "lunch? It's on me. It's not everyday that my...that you're in LA."

A strange look came upon Damien's faace then. Contemplative, like he wanted to say something but couldn't articulate it. Shayne raised his eyebrows.

"You okay, man?"

Damien hummed softly, running a hand through his hair. "I'm good. I was just thinking...would it be cliche to go to In N' Out?" 

Shayne nodded. "We can totally do In N' Out. When in Rome, right?"

"Right!" And with thaat, the sunny smile was back on Damien's face like it had never left.

* * *

"...and I swear, that was the closest I'd ever been to showing my penis to an audience of thousands."

Shayne laughed, loud and high-pitched, his head thrown back. Damien watched with a twin grin of his own. 

"I still can't believe they made you guys wear those suits on the fucking _Disney Channel._ " Shayne took a sip of his soda and tapped his fingers against the lid. "So...Chicago. How is it over there?"

Damien tensed, though the movement was so minor Shayne almost missed it. Almost.

"It's fine," Damien started, keeping his eyes fixed on the empty burger wrapper on his tray. "It has its ups and downs, I guess."

Shayne raised his eyebrows. "But...?"

Damien looked up, a small surprised smile on his lips. "It's different."

"Different how?" The look Damien gave Shayne in return was searing.

Damien paused, twirling his straw wrapper between his fingers. "I never really felt at home there. Not like I felt with..." Damien hesitated, "...with you."

Shayne had never been a particularly religious man but in that moment, he _prayed_ that Damien couldn't hear his heart beating out of his chest. "Oh."

"Yeah." Damien huffed out a quiet, self-deprecating laugh. "'Oh'."

After Damien's quiet confession, nothing Shayne thought about saying felt...right. So he turned to an old, repressed memory instead.

"Do you remember at Matthew Scott's party after _So Random_ got cancelled," Shayne sighed, chewing on the inside of his cheek before continuing, "when you told me you were moving and I...puked?"

Damien furrowed his eyebrows. "Yeah, of course. Why?"

Shayne could feel his cheeks heating up. "I didn't...i told you I threw up 'cause of the beers. That was a lie."

More confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean the beers certainly didn't _help,_ but it was mostly because you told me you were leaving." 

"You threw up...because I told you I was moving?" 

Shayne nodded. He couldn't find it in himself to look up, meet Damien's eyes. "I just didn't wanna believe you were, I guess. You were my best friend at the time and after _So Random_ ended, the thought of losing you, too..."

Shayne trailed off, old, repressed fears and anxieties rushing back in waves. Maybe he'd said too much.

Suddenly, he felt a warm hand cover his wrist, pulling him back down to earth. Shayne looked up and felt the breath escape his lungs. Damien was looking at him, the tenderest of smiles on his face. 

"You didn't lose me." Damien's voice was quiet, earnest. Shayne wanted to soak his ears in it. "We might've lost touch, but I still think of you as the best friend I've ever had."

Shayne looked down at where Damien's hand was gently clasped around his wrist. It would be so easy to move his hand just slightly, take Damien's hand in his own...

But he didn't. Instead he just smiled back, hoping that conveyed the warmth Damien made him feel.

Eventually, Damien moved his hand away. Shayne tried to tamp down his disappointment. He distracted himself by stuffing a cold french fry into his mouth.

"So, are you seeing anyone these days?" Damien asked, though the accompanying smile didn't reach his eyes. "Whatever happened to that girl you were seeing when _So Random_ ended?"

Shayne shook his head. "That fizzled out after..." _After you left_. "...after a little while."

Damien hummed sympathetically. 

"There have been a few _people_ , here and there," Shayne said carefully, chewing on his words, "but none of them really stuck."

Damien nodded. "I know what you mean."

Shayne eyed Damien, raising his eyebrows slowly. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." A mischievous grin grew on his face. "I can't say I'm not surprised, though."

"What do you mean?"

"I just mean, y'know, a hot shot actor and influencer--" the word made Shayne's nose wrinkle almost automatically with disgust, "--I totally thought you'd be beating 'em off with a stick by now."

Shayne barked out a laugh that was perhaps a bit too loud. "No, that's...that's very far from the truth."

They were both quiet for a few awkward moments, the time passing slowly as an unknown tension rose around them. 

"I..." Shayne looked up when Damien started speaking again. "I was seeing someone for a little bit, actually." 

"Oh?" Shayne asked, his voice strained.

"Yeah," Damien said, "it didn't really...we broke up a little while ago."

Shayne fought back against the hope that began rising in his chest. "I'm sorry, man, that sucks."

Damien shrugged. "It's fine. It sucked at the time but it was mostly what she _said_ that messed me up." Damien sucked on his teeth as he thought of what to say next, "she said that she felt like my heart was never really in the relationship."

"Oh," Shayne replied, hoping the reply didn't sound as pathetic as it felt. "I'm sorry."

"I think the part that messed me up the most was that she was right," Damien continued, "I think I've known for a long time that even though I live in Chicago, a part of me just wants to be here."

"Well..." Shayne said, nibbling on his lip. "You're here now, right? How do you feel?"

Damien paused before he began to smile, his eyes shining as he met Shayne's gaze. "Actually? I feel pretty damn good."

* * *

When they got back to the office, they went straight to the room where Try Not to Laugh was going to be shot. Damien had planned to sit out of frame and watch Shayne at work, delighted at the opportunity to get to watch Shayne in his natural element. 

But when they'd arrived, they were met by a frantic-looking Garrett. 

"Hey, guys. So, the guest we originally haad planned for this episode bailed last minute, so we're a cast member short."

"Oh, shit," Shayne said, "that sucks."

"Yeah," Garrett sighed, rubbing his forehead. "So we were wondering if, Damien, you'd like to guest star in this episode."

Damien, who had been quietly observing the chaos, raised his eyebrows. "Um...me?"

"Yeah, we could introduce you as Shayne's friend from _So Random,_ maybe even plug some of the voice acting you've done..." Garrett trailed off when Damien didn't respond, "of course you can say 'no' but I've talked to Ian about it and he thinks it could be pretty great."

Shayne turned to Damien, placing a hand on his back. "Damien, are you cool with this?"

Damien smiled shyly. "Uh...yeah! Sure. It's sorta like improv, right?"

Garrett grinned. "Right! Awesome, we're gonna start the warm up in like 30 minutes. Thanks so much, man!"

When Garrett walked away, Shayne stood in front of Damien and cuffed him lightly on the shoulder. "This is gonna be great!"

Damien wrung his hands together nervously. "You don't know that. I could suck," He laughed, trying to play the comment off as a joke. Shayne could see the nerves rolling off of him in waves. He placed his hands on Damien's shoulders and squeezed lightly. 

"Hey, it's gonna be fine," he said softly, "you're hilarious and everyone already loves you. It'll be okay."

The smile Damien gave Shayne in return felt much more genuine than it had before. "You seem awfully confident in my abilities."

"I'm confident 'cause I know you're gonna crush it," Shayne replied with a bright grin, "c'mon, let's go get ready.

* * *

"Welcome back to another episode of..." Courtney trailed off as everyone chimed in, "Try Not To Laugh!"

Cheers and claps echoed around the room. Shayne watched Damien out of the corner of his eye, his smile growing when Damien let out an enthusiastic whoop. 

"Today we have a surprise guest!" Courtney announced, turning to Damien who waved at the camera. "Shayne's very special friend, Damien Haas!"

Damien grinned bashfully. "Hi, thanks for havin' me!"

Overcome with a strange, possessive emotion, Shayne threw an arm around Damien's shoulders and pulled him close. "Y'hear that? He's my very special friend!" Shayne exclaimed amidst giggles. 

Damien turned to Shayne, an amused grin on his face as he in turn wrapped his own arm around Shayne's back. The contact spread warmth all along Shayne's body. 

The episode went by just as Shayne expected. Damien was a hit, managing to make everyone laugh but Ian, though he'd come very close. 

When Shayne returned to wait behind the partition after successfully breaking Keith, he felt a gentle hand on his elbow pull him aside. 

He felt Damien lean in close, his breath brushing against his ear gently. 

"I have an idea for a bit, but I need your help," Damien whispered, "it's kind of...invasive."

Shayne pulled back to look at Damien and shrugged, nodding. "Yeah, sure. I trust you, man."

They heard the tell-tale sound of water splashing on the ground and Keith cackling in delight as Noah finished up his turn. Damien bit his lip and watched the monitor before turning to Shayne. 

"Just "yes, and" me, okay?" Damien said, looking behind Shayne as Noah returned to the back where they were waiting, "and...I'm sorry in advance."

"Wait, what-"

Before Shayne could finish his question, Damien pulled him out to the stage. Keith's and the eyes of the many crew members behind the camera watching them expectantly. 

Then, Damien turned to Shayne, a small apologetic smile on his face as he took Shayne's face in his hands gently and tugged him forward.

Shayne heard the screams and laughter of the crew and his cast mates before his brain truly registered Damien's lips on his own. 

Shayne reflexively brought his hands up to rest on Damien's waist. He felt Damien's thumb gently stroke his cheek...

Then the pressure was gone and Shayne found himself breathing in too fast, shocked by the sudden space between Damien and himself.

Damien's gaze lingered on him for a moment before he tore his eyes away and faced Keith who was watching with enraptured attention.

"Uh...just watched _Call Me By Your Name_ ," Damien said finally, reaching a hand towards Keith for a first bump. 

Keith spat out his water, letting out a loud scream-like laugh as he happily bumped his fist against Damien's. 

Shayne could barely register the reactions of everyone around him, standing stock-still in the middle of the stage as Damien retreated to the back. He could feel how hot his face was getting. 

"Dude, I think you broke Shayne!" Keith exclaimed with a delighted giggle, waving a hand in front of Shayne's face. 

Then, Shayne suddenly remembered he was being filmed. He mustered up a lighthearted laugh and turned to the camera. "I definitely did not know _that's_ what you were planning." He said before high-fiving Keith and retreating to the back.

* * *

After the day ended, Shayne had agreed to drive Damien to his apartment so they could hang out more and play video games together. Neither of them had brought of the...incident since it had happened, but one thing was for sure. Shayne could still feel the phantom imprint of Damien's lips against his even hours after filming had ended and the set was cleaned up. 

There was an unspoken tension that hovered around them, like electricity sparking through the air. Shayne didn't know if _he_ should bring it up or if he was making everything up in his head. The kiss had been for a bit. A joke. It hadn't been real...

But the look Damien gave him when it ended had _felt_ real. 

"Dude?"

It wasn't until Shayne heard Damien's voice that he realised he was standing frozen in front of his car, keys in hand, staring at his window. He looked up and smiled sheepishly. "Oh, sorry. Guess I'm just...tired."

Damien hesitated, shoving his hands in his pockets. He looked like he wanted to say something and Shayne wondered if he would. But he didn't. "Is it still cool if I come over? I totally get it if it's not, I'll head back to my hotel." 

"What? No!" Shayne said, unlocking his car and opening the door. "I want to hang out with you while you're here. I'm fine." If 'fine' meant freaking out about something that probably didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. 

Damien hesitantly got into the passenger's seat and shut the door, eyeing Shayne warily as he started up the car. "You sure? We can always just hang out tomorrow if you're not feeling up to it."

"Damien, I'm fine," Shayne said, shoving his keys into the ignition with slightly more force than necessary. For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to actually _look_ at Damien. Not when he was sitting so close. "I'll be good once we get to my place, okay?"

Damien was quiet for a moment. The moment did not last long.

"Saying that you'll be good once we get there assumes that you're...not good now," Damien said slowly, "are you? Not good?" 

Shayne kept his eyes on the road as the words swirled around his head. 'Not good' seemed harsh. Was he upset? Maybe. Confused? _Definitely._ But there were feelings happening that he, for all of his knowledge and experience, didn't know how to articulate. 

"I'm..." Shayne breathed out through his mouth, his lips tight and pursed, "good. Filming Try Not To Laugh just takes a lot of energy. It's a lot sometimes."

Damien nodded and didn't say anything else, though Shayne had a sneaking suspicion that the conversation wasn't over. 

The rest of the ride was filled with quiet, tinny music coming from Shayne's car radio and general small talk. It was a stark difference from how they'd been mere hours ago. 

They finally arrived at Shayne's house and he let out a quiet sigh, turning to Damien mustering up a small smile. "I think my house might be a bit of a mess, so...I'm sorry in advance."

Damien smiled and shrugged but didn't say anything. If Shayne were to overanalyse for a second, he would've noted how Damien's smile wasn't as full as it had been before. But he was making the calculated decision _not_ to overanalyse, so he didn't note anything at all.

"So," Shayne said as he stepped into his apartment and took his shoes off, "what are you in the mood for? I've got a bunch of PS4 games and some Switch games. I probably have some board games somewhere too." Shayne walked towards his TV and kneeled down, pulling out a cardboard box filled with game cartridges. 

When he looked up, Damien was still standing by the front door, looking around the house like he was an alien observing Earth for the first time.

"Damien?"

"Hm?" Damien hummed, his eyes falling on a framed photo of him and Shayne on Shayne's mantle. He walked towards it and smiled, picking it up carefully. " _Wow_ , we look like...babies in this picture." 

Shayne felt an inch of tension leave his shoulders as he saw Damien observing the photo. He walked towards him and leaned against the wall, smiling lightly. "Yeah, we do. I mean, who thought brunette was a good look on me, right?"

Damien let out a quiet laugh and shook his head, looking up at Shayne with a small smile. "You looked great, don't even," he murmured, his voice low like he was telling Shayne a secret. "Still do, honestly."

Shayne's breath hitched. He hadn't realised how close they were standing until that moment, Damien's face was less than a foot away from his own. If he tried, Shayne probably could've counted the eyelashes that framed his hazel eyes. "I, uh...thanks," Shayne said, barely managing to get the words out. 

Damien gently placed the picture back in its rightful place and turned to face Shayne fully. "Listen, Shayne, I think...should we maybe talk?" 

Oh, boy. "Talk?"

Damien nodded, licking his lips unconsciously. "Yeah, about what happened earlier." 

"I'm not following," Shayne replied, though he and Damien _both_ knew that was a lie. Damien groaned quietly and moved away from Shayne, walking towards the middle of the room and rubbing his face. 

"This wasn't how I...this wasn't how I wanted to do this," Damien mumbled, the sound muffled behind his palms, though to Shayne he might as well have been screaming the words through a megaphone. "I had everything planned out, I was going to be smooth for _once in my life_." 

Shayne swallowed. "What do you mean?" 

Damien sighed and dropped his hands. "I was gonna tell you tonight, maybe, or tomorrow if I didn't have the balls." 

Shayne let out a humourless laugh, more out of confusion than anything else. "Tell me _what_?"

"I'm moving to LA," Damien said finally before pursing his lips together, like he'd let out a confession he wasn't supposed to tell anyone.

"Oh--"

"--and I've been... _very_ in love with you since we met," Damien interrupted, fists clenched at his sides. "I was going to tell you in a better way but then Try Not To Laugh happened and I...don't even know why I kissed you, if I'm being honest. But I'm sorry that I did because you didn't want it and I can definitely see that now." 

Shayne was silent as he processed Damien's words, all of them hitting him individually like paint balls into his chest. 

_Moving to LA._

_In love with you since we met._

_Don't even know why I kissed you._

_You didn't want it._

Shayne looked up at Damien finally. "Hold on, you...you're moving. Here."

"Yep."

"And...you're in love with me?" The words didn't feel real coming out of Shayne's mouth but they were real as can be. Shayne watched as Damien winced, ducking his head and nodding solemnly. 

"...yep." 

Shayne didn't realise he was smiling until his cheeks started to ache. Then, he didn't realise he was laughing until he saw how utterly _devastated_ Damien looked. Oh, shit.

"No! No, Damien, I-I'm not laughing at you, I'm not." Shayne rushed forward and placed his hands on Damien's biceps, "I'm laughing because this is kind of ridiculous, isn't it?"

The devastation was wiped from Damien's face, replaced with confusion. "Ridiculous?"

Shayne sighed, the smile never leaving his face. "Damien, I was going to ask you out at Matthew Scott's party like eight years ago," Shayne said, an eight-year-weight lifting off of his chest. "But you told me you were leaving and I didn't wanna stand in your way or-or overwhelm you."

Damien raised his eyebrows. "You were?" 

Shayne nodded, his cheeks flushing bright pink. "I swear to God, I was."

They were both quiet before giggles began echoing around Shayne's living room. Shayne covered his mouth as he laughed and leaned forward, resting his forehead on Damien's shoulder as he felt Damien's hand come up to gently cup his elbow. 

"God," Shayne groaned, looking at Damien and grinning. Damien's eyes were shining in the dim light of his apartment and Shayne thought he'd never seen anything more beautiful. "So...does this mean..."

Damien hummed teasingly, his voice full of affection. "Well, Shayne, I, unlike some people, would like to be wooed. I don't even remember hearing you pop the question." 

Shayne laughed again, that signature high-pitched giggle that felt like joy personified. "I'm so sorry, how could I have forgotten!" He exclaimed, taking hold of one of Damien's hands and grinning up at him. "Damien Haas, will you go on a date with me?"

Damien grinned, mischief taking over his features as he squeezed Shayne's hand and tugged him close, his free hand coming up to cup Shayne's jaw. 

"I thought you'd never ask." 

Then, just like before, Damien pulled Shayne just the slightest bit closer and sealed their lips together. Only this time, there were no cameras. There was no punchline. Just two men, hopelessly in love with one another.

It was perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> this was kind of a doozy to write!! I hope it turned out okay, though. I actually drafted it out by writing it all down first and re-typing everything instead of just writing everything down stream of consciousness style like I usually do.
> 
> If anyone is at all interested in following me on Tumblr, my url is @squishydamien!! i make content on there quite a bit so if you're interested it's all there for u!!
> 
> also pls dont tell me if it's noticeable that towards the end of this fic it was getting REALLY LATE so i kind of panicked and rushed it fjdkls (it is 4:07am as i'm typing this)
> 
> ALSO ALSO if u guys are at all interested, i crafted a [shaymien playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4aM7OwM1mhz2li6ALbCVxH?si=pgCrEz9RRXGeZpn90cRBrA) that i've been plugging the hell out of on tumblr and this fic was actually inspired by one of the songs in that playlist so if you would like to, u should go listen to that!!! 
> 
> thank you for reading! comments and kudos are always appreciated x
> 
> \- Brit


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